A heart opener

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There’s a big hype about today, whether we like to agree or not, I’m pretty sure we’ve all thought about, talked about, complained about 12/21/12. I personally didn’t believe the world was going to end, but I did realize something. In the midst of discussing, exchanging, and sighing over the conversation around “dooms day” I concluded that every day, every moment is the end of the world. With every breath we take we get another chance to let go and let in.

So today I leaped out of bed and bended backwards into ustrasana (camel pose). And there’s something to be said about a heart opener such as this one. The poetry behind the pose?

Fall onto your knees and surrender.
Repent
Then reach back with an intent

What are you opening your heart too?
What brick will you pick, dissect, what habit will you kick?

We all build walls to protect ourselves, in ustrasana our whole body opens up, our back bends, and our heart reaches forward, as if it wants to grab hold of the movement of love, it’s impossible not to let it all go in camel pose. Impossible not to let it all in when your left so vulnerable.

So every day is the end of the world. And every moment we get a new chance. So open up your heart fully. Go ahead and reach back. Be a little vulnerable. Bend back into camel and let your heart take you for a ride.

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Boat Pose

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Can someone explain to me the reasoning behind boat pose? Can someone unveil the poetry behind it?

I’m not sure why, but boat pose to me is probably my least favorite pose. The way it looks, the way it feels, there’s nothing about it I like, yet today I felt like practicing. Tonight in the midst of some other extreme, complete, unpoetic bullshit I felt like boat pose was important. Why?

The issue I’m talking about makes me spill out these emotions that are ultimately not worth their weight. It’s a situation that is so time consuming and energy vesting for an end result that gets me nowhere. Or at least that’s what I believe it to be. It’s a rowing of one against the other. Ultimately the rows equal each other out in a way where this “boat” is going nowhere but in circles. And the way the water sloshes and the frustration spins is making me dizzy. Absolutely sea-sick.

So maybe that’s the poetry behind this pose. Perhaps our bodies know better than our minds when it comes to the release we need.

Boat is challenging to me. Absolutely horrifying, not only because of its “ugliness” but also because of the one thing it requires to successfully ease into it. Core strength. So how strong is your core? That’s the real challenge here. That’s the real question.

How firmly do you stand your ground when it comes to the truth of WHAT you stand for?

Tell me your poetry for boat.
I think I just uncovered mine. The poetry that hides behind boat is this;

When you feel that burning at your core what do you hear your heart whisper? Is it an, “enough let it go?” or do you hear, “keep going it’s worth it?” When the rowing gets to be frustrating is it because you are going in circles or is it because your end destination is in sight? Only you know the answer.

So keep in boat a little longer. Row just a little harder. In yoga it all becomes clear eventually.

Namaste.

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Sunday…

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Sunday seems to be the time for me to get reflective. While making pumpkin pancakes, with eggs, and bacon, and freshly brewed coffee, all these delicious smells hit my senses and the one thought running through my brain is that I will have the best f*cking yoga session today! It’ll be grand slamming! Bakasana is going to ROCK for at least 2-4min straight! King dancer pose will be so graceful that I will crumple in it’s beauty, depleted, because who ever thought our bodies to be capable of so much! So much beauty, so much strength, so much emotion, capable of holding so much pain and then capable of releasing it all with one pose, or 40 poses, or a sequence that just HITS the spot. Hits the motherfucking spot! And I’ve been a lover of wild thing lately, because I like the way it makes me feel! So open, so free like a wild thing. Like I have no idea where I’m going, what will happen, where I’m from, but then in that split second that insane bewilderment just makes SENSE.

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And when my arm feels like it’s about to give way to the weight of the world on its shoulders, I find that extra strength to push and reach just a little bit longer and all of a sudden my body conforms from exhaustion into bridge pose and something beautiful happens…. my heart opens, my mind empties and in bridge I feel a sense of freedom. Like all the pressure just falls off. Like an egg that cracks open and all that spills out is everything I’ve been holding in and all that’s needed of me in that moment is to stay strong and melt into my bodies natural opposite, releasing whatever needs to be released and staying there. I just stay there.

My intention for today’s yoga session is to not only let it all go, but to also cast my net into the Universe and receive, because in yoga you realize all that you’re worth. You realize it’s all there for the taking if you want to, always in abundance, if you ask for it.

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Soooo…

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So there’s this thing called yoga which I’ve read several times means to yoke, which to my understanding loosely translates into mixing together the union of mind, body and spirit, add myself into the mix and I think I’m starting to understand it…

And then there’s this yoga community, which consists of these people who have the same goal. They find a solace in this practice. They find a healing in these things called asanas and pranayamas. Add me into the mix and I think this is home…

It’s so scary to follow your hearts calling, but the more I immerse myself the more I realize that this is the strange pull of that something I really love. And I want to sink in it. I want to bathe in it. I want to know it and when I almost grasp it I want more.

This is it.
Put yoga into the mix and I think I’ve got it…

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A poem

It’s the first time
It appeared
In the form of a dream
So vivid
So colorful
So true

And it’s the first time
I believe
This is what
I need to
Do

Unfolds
Untold

I am consumed by it
It’s willing
to swallow me whole
If I surrender
Just surrender

It’s happening
My life’s calling

It’s happening
My faith’s crawling

Awake
Awake

It’s the first time
It appeared
In the form of a dream
So vivid
So colorful
So true

And it’s the first time
I believe
This is what
I need to
Do

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Hold onto your toes!

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I went to a 6am yoga class today. And it was wonderful! I realize when I open myself up to each and every pose all of a sudden it becomes effortless for my mind. My body resists from time to time, but it doesn’t become unbearable. And I can finally touch my toes! Something that I was somehow NEVER able to do as a kid, but as an adult transitioning into being a woman I can finally touch my toes and it seemed I did it like it was something I was able to do forever! 

So I take this small feat and turn it into an analogy; our bodies grow, our minds grow and when we reach long, reach STRONG, eventually we’ll grasp hold and the little nugget we clasp onto makes sense. When we stretch to the utmost ends of ourselves we don’t grasp onto “nothing” we grasp onto knowledge. We expand into the Universe and that’s huge! We are supposed to stretch wide, we are supposed to reach long! And when we’ve reached the end of our rope we are supposed to surrender, dive down and touch our toes.

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Crow Pose

 

A few weeks ago I decided to try to hold my own during Crow Pose (bakasana), really I wanted to master it, until I read Fleur Carter’s blog post on MindBodyGreen (http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-6693/How-Crow-Pose-Helps-Me-Check-In-with-Myself.html) and I realized I needed to change my perspective from needing to “master” Crow, to just opening myself up to “befriending” it. So after I commented on Fleur’s post I decided to go ahead and attempt bakasana seriously, or jokingly. What the heck?! I’m feeling very centered and sure of myself today, so I decided I should check in with myself and see what Crow Pose had to tell me about my  self-evaluation of my good mood.
Here’s a video!! I tumbled like a b*tch, but at least I was still able to get my feet off the floor!! YAY 🙂 My first SUCCESSFUL attempt at Crow Pose.

Try, try, try!

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